Ep 1: The Birthday Episode: What I Know About Myself After 45 Years & How to Accept More Love

Hello, hello everyone! Welcome to the Art of Self Mastery Podcast. I am your host, Sonja Thompkins. And I’m not sure if this makes the final cut as being the very first episode. I guess you know, if you’re listening to this, but, this is a very special day and a very special episode because today, at the time, I’m recording this right now, it is March 14th, 2023. And it is my 45th birthday, you guys.

And I felt very called to do this episode. And it’s interesting because I have a couple of other episodes already pre-recorded. And I had an idea of one of those episodes that I thought I would use as the first one, which would be sort of like recapping 2022 explaining why I decided to start or restart my podcast this year and sort of give you guys a little bit of behind the scenes on that.

But then I woke up today, this morning, and actually, I, I, let me slow down. Let me slow down.

So actually last night, yesterday, was just a, I was just very emotional yesterday and, there was a lot of like planetary things happening, you know? There’s a lot of. If you don’t know, let me just explain without going too deep, but we have planets like Pluto, which is considered like the planet of like death, right? It’s really about rebirth. Death scares people, but you, you need death. You need endings of things to rebirth things, so, that Pluto is coming. I mean, Pluto is happening coming into Neptune like that. So we’ve got that going on. And then also Saturn is moving from, Capricorn, no, from Aquarius into Pisces. And there’s a lot of things kind of coming into the Pisces realm astrologically and, it, Pisces is just, it’s a water sign, so it’s all about emotions. It’s all about feelings. I’m definitely that as a sun sign.

So obviously my birthday is March 14th, so my sun sign is Pisces. But I have a lot of earth and fire signs. I have a lot of fire signs in my entire natal chart, but I definitely have that water. It’s definitely a big part of me. And so all of those changes yesterday or over the last seven days, there just was a lot of shifts happening.

And, yesterday also too, I took on a task that normally makes me a little more anxious. I have to work really hard at, or I have to be very intentional. Let me say that I have to be very intentional when I’m doing this particular type of task, and that is dealing with new technology. Okay?

In the past I’ve said things like, I’m not good with tech and all of that, and I, I no longer try to say those things or try to be very intentional because that’s not really true. It’s not that I’m not good with it. It requires a depth of attention that I would prefer not to put into learning new technology. And that’s what it really is. I just would prefer not to spend a lot of my time on that. It doesn’t light me up. You know what I mean? It just doesn’t get me jazzed.

And yet, I was gifted a wonderful, beautiful, Like out of, like, I would never, I wouldn’t say I would never, but it was not on my list of things to do, to go out and buy myself this new, iMac desktop and this beautiful big screen. My husband gifted me with that and he’s like, so I had it for a couple days and he’s like, so are you ever gonna like, take it out the box and actually put it up?

And so yesterday I did that and it was a shit show, because energetically, I was very appreciative, but I really wasn’t there. And the more I continued to mess around with this and it didn’t work, the more I was reminded like, oh, that I, yeah, really should have left that alone. Right? So that, and all of those other things, I just was in a very, I was frustrated and I was in a very emotional place.

so how did I remedy that? For those of you who find yourself frustrated sometimes, as we all do. I made me a wonderful golden milk tea. It’s really simple. Guys, it’s great for just calming your body, calming your nervous system. It’s anti-inflammatory, which helps, you know, blood flow through your body, helps your brain function a little bit better, and it’s also very relaxing because it is anti-inflammatory and it tastes delicious, which also makes it something great to do.

But I made some of that. It’s really simple milk of your choice. I like a good almond milk. Two tablespoons. Two teaspoons, I’m sorry, of turmeric. Whisk it together on the stove. Warm it up. I like to drizzle like a tablespoon. Yes, a tablespoon of raw honey into my cup before I pour that warm, delicious golden milk over it.

And then on top, depending on time of day, I’ll either sprinkle nutmeg, which yesterday I did. Last night I did nutmeg, because nutmeg also is very.. not only does it taste delicious, but it’s also calming. It’s a little more sedative.

If you do some history on nutmeg, like if you’re coming off of different types of drugs. I believe it’s like an opiate type of drug. Back in the day, you could take some nutmeg, right? To kinda wean you so you didn’t have withdrawals, right? So it’s very calming, soothing that way. Now if I wanted to pep it up, if it was morning, I’d use some cinnamon, but I used nutmeg last night cause I needed to calm things down.

I needed to regulate the emotions. Not try to hide the emotions, but I needed to regulate them. Right? Okay. So I did that. Had some wonderful visions as I closed my eyes and went to sleep and I woke up in this mood , this mood of gratitude, this mood of gra- um, apparently I’m feeling very grateful because I almost said gratitude again, even though I just said it.

So that’s where we’re going, Lord. Okay. So just woke up in this mood of just gratitude and one of the interesting thoughts that I have this morning is, I traditionally, I’m not sure where this started for me, but I can definitely say like, over the last 15 or 20 years even, I, I might like to do something for my birthday, but I don’t like to… Follow me now y’all. Listen to the whole story.

I get a little irritated when people would call me on my birthday. Now, hear me out. Tell you a little bit about me really quickly in case this is the first episode. So I have to share with you, I’m a Pisces. If you’re into human design, I, my energy type is manifesting generator. Okay.

I have an emotional authority. So again, the emotional piece of my experience in this life is just huge. It’s everything. Everything for me is emotion. And I have a profile 2/4. So there’s a lot of like hermit energy. There’s a lot of energy around me where I enjoy being with myself. I always have.

I en, I love spending time with myself. And then I’m also very comfortable as I’ve gotten older, and I’ll say like from about 13 years, of age on till now, I very much enjoy being with myself and I can be around people and I’m social and I do public speaking, and I, you know, and I can facilitate workshop, I can do all those. And then I’m gonna need, if it, if I did that for two hours, I’m gonna need like eight hours of alone time in my hermit energy to gather myself and get my energy back up.

And I’ve always known that, I’ve always done that. But as I learned more about like human design and oh, okay, that’s actually in my chart, in my natal chart, also numerology, I’m a life path six, right? So there’s just a lot of that around me. I just thought, I like to be, you know, this is my time, this is my day, so I want to, I don’t wanna be interrupted. And so that’s really what it was. It wasn’t that I didn’t want, I wasn’t happy that people cared enough about me to reach out and say, happy birthday. I didn’t like being interrupted.

If you know anything about, oops sorry. Kicking a box there. If you know anything about. Or, you know, anything about that profile line like that 2/4? Yeah. Frustration comes from being interrupted. I do not like to be interrupted, and I just sort of like put the correlation together with that this morning because I woke up in all this gratitude. I woke up in, in a more positive emotional state. Right.

And I, thought the thought came to me. Wow. Isn’t it great how many people love you and care for you enough to stop what they’re doing to acknowledge you in your life? Okay. That might seem like a very obvious sort of thought, like, well, of course, doesn’t everybody think that way?

You know what? Every part of each of us has, you know, pros and cons or lights and shadow, or however you wanna define that, right? There’s just variances of everything and everything for everybody. And so, when I am too deep in my hermit energy, which I need, I need to have that hermit energy, it, it actually serves me. But if anything is out of balance, if I stay in that hermit energy too long, then without even realizing it, I’m isolating myself. Right? I become isolated.

And so having that sort of epiphany and that thought of like, reframe that. Like, and not cuz there’s something wrong with being, you know, being in my hermit energy. But I was like, I wonder why, why do I do that? I love to explore myself, you guys, in that way. Make sure you heard that whole sentence. I love to explore myself in that way. If I wanna explore myself in other ways, that’s not for this podcast. But, ooh, as I said that I was like, mm, I don’t know how that, I don’t know if I liked how that sounded, but we’re gonna leave it in.

And, and yeah, I’ve just always been a very self-aware person and what I know now is that being super self-aware, super conscious of myself and who I am, not in the shadow way where I’m you know, I’m overthinking it, being self-conscious in a negative way, but being conscious of myself in a pure way has benefited me in more ways than I can count or that I could have imagined. And it especially rings true as it pertains to my abilities as a holistic life coach. Something I’ve been doing my whole life, even when I thought I was coaching people through… when I started off in the online coaching space and coaching people through business, I was always coaching them.

And I know now that that deep self-awareness, that ability to just see myself and contemplate on myself and question myself and you know, ruminate, in all my feelings and all my thoughts, and all of that, more times than not, gives me… it helps me because I have so much perspective and it allows me to really serve my clients, my family, my community in such deep ways.

And so having that just like, oh yeah, like that’s, wow, that’s, look at that, you know, look at that reframe there. That was so good. That feels really good.

And then the next thought I had was… So there’s this running joke. My dad, my dad, he’s a Capricorn, and that, that shows up meaning like, he loves to be first with everything. You know, he, you know, he, he likes a lot of attention. And so my dad is like very adamant, like, he’s gonna be the first one to call you on your birthday. He’s gonna be the first one to, you know, you were, you were late if something started at nine o’clock, you were late. If you got there at 8:45. Okay. He’s got to be first. He’s got to scope everything out. He’s got to you know, observe. So, okay.

So I was talking to my mom last night and I’m sharing with her like, and she’s like, oh, by the way, you know, I just wanna tell you happy, happy birthday. I know you’re probably, because we were talking about like, yeah, I’m probably gonna be like, in my, in my own space tomorrow for my birthday. You know? She was like, yeah, I know. So let me tell you happy birthday now, blah, blah, blah. I’ll tell you before you’re, I’m gonna beat your dad. Cause I’m gonna tell you now. Yeah. Anyway, he texted me at 4:40 AM and so that second thought this morning was, you know wow. The way it, it just sort of dawned on me.

My son is 10, our son is 10 now, and it just dawned on me. In this moment today, the way I love my son, the way I love our son, the way the, just all the thoughts and just tidal wave of emotions that come up when I just picture his, his life and who he is and who he, from the day he was born and just, just him, it came to.

That’s the way your parents love you, y’all. I instantly had tears like, you know, and after I prayed, cuz that was one of the first things I did this morning. I lit my birthday candle, I have this candle. It’s one of my, it’s like, just go tell my mom. Just go ahead and put that on Amazon, on reship. Cuz every year I want this candle.

It’s the birthday candle. Maybe I’ll put a link in the show notes. I love that candle. It is probably one of the best, I would say mass produced. And by mass produced, I mean, just, you know, it’s a company and they do this, but one of the most really curated, mass produced products that’s very spot on for individuals.

I love it. And I looked at the candle and then I prayed, and then I had these thoughts, right? Which right after I prayed and I was like, the way I love our son, that’s the way my mommy and daddy love me. Like, and, and I still have, I still have a mommy and a daddy that love me like that. And that’s why they call me and that’s why my dad has to you know, do it first.

And that’s why my mom will sing in her… I love my mom, but she is no Celine Dion. This is why she has to call and sing to me in that way. And my brother is literally calling me right now. My brother’s literally calling me right now. This is why they do that, because they have that kind of love for me.

Duh. Like light bulb moment where like, girl, get outta your shit.

They not trying to bother you and I, you guys, listen, I promise. I intellectually, I’ve always known this. It’s not as if I didn’t know this from a logical, intelligent standpoint, but it just hit me in my body. It just hit me in my gut. Oh, oh. And so I, today. I am here for all the love. I am here for all the love.

I am standing wide. I’m standing tall with my chest out. My arms are not crossed or folded. I am here for the love. I just recently looked on Facebook and I see like every time someone is posting on the timeline, only because I feel it, not because I’m doing it, I don’t feel obligated. I’m not making myself, this is just how I feel.

I’m moving in the feeling this is how I am designed to operate in this world. And it feels good to me. And every time someone is posting, I’m just sending a little GIF, thanks. Right. I’m just here for it. I am allowing myself to accept this love, to accept the, you know, just the awareness that someone else and the, the awareness and the the graciousness that someone else has decided to give me, and I feel like accepting it.

So those two things are working together, so we’re gonna move in that energy, right? I’m moving in that energy. I am here for it, and I know that in accepting this, this love and being open and receiving the love, fully receiving it intentionally, receiving it, just letting it wash over me is like a springboard and a magnet to attract more of that to me, right?

This is my 45th birthday. Four plus five is nine. Nine is a number of completion. It’s a very spiritual number. Remember when I talked earlier about how some of the planets were moving around? And so Saturn, the planet of tasks and rules, structures routines, that planet just moved into Pisces. And so it is a year or three years in the, in the sense of Saturn and how it travels, it is a period of time where you’re being called to check, reevaluate your spirituality.

Pisces is spirituality. Pisces is motion. Pisces is connected, is very much connected to higher, higher realms, right? And so I’m like, okay, so 45. Saturn has moved into Pisces, which it has not been in, Since 2- since 1993 till 1996. Right. And if you know anything about, like, I’m not in my Saturn return, but if you just know anything about how some of these, how the planets travel and things like that.

So the last time Saturn was in Pisces was between 1993 and 1996. For me personally, that was a very, that was a very transformative period for me. I had declared in 1993 to my parents, I was in, I think I was a freshman in high school, sophomore in high school. And two years prior I had said like, hey, by the time I’m a junior in high school, I wanna transition to a technical high school.

I wanna be a cosmetologist. I wanna do hair and makeup and nails, and then I’m gonna use that while I’m in college. You know, I wanted to be a communications major. I was like 12 or 13 when I made that declaration. And then in 1993, that time had come, I declared it again with my parents. They were like, okay, sounds like you’re serious. We’ll support you in that. And they allowed me to go to this different high school, this technical high school, and I did just that.

From 1993 to 1996, I accomplished those goals, those things I set out for. I graduated early in 1996. One of the exercises that we did as a high school senior was like, what are the things you wanna accomplish, you know, in the next like 10 years, five years or 10 years or whatever it was. And I wrote out, I wanna open up my own salon. I wanna, you know, blah, blah, blah.

You guys, I’m gonna tell you, those things happened. I opened my, I was self-employed at 18. Okay. I was a licensed cosmetologist and self-employed doing here by the time I was 18. This is 1996. By the time like five years later, four or five years later, I opened up my first brick and mortar business, which was a salon and day spa.

I’m telling you all that to say that now, here I am, 20 some odd years later, and I’m in this year, 45. Number nine, a number of completion. Saturn is back in Pisces. This is my time, right? And if you were there, or similar, this is my time, right? The next three years are about to be banging in the most beautiful way.

And there’s just so much. I think I’ll kind of wrap this up here because I could go on and on with how things have revealed themself to me. Even the, the revelation of pivoting from, salon owner, boutique owner, brick and mortar, product-based business coach to holistic life coach, the last like year and a half has really been preparing me for where I am now.

And it’s just very, very magical to watch and to to be able to speak on. And this is why I love just having awareness of self and knowing who you are. That doesn’t mean knowing how everything will play out. But knowing who you are and getting and, and knowing it, like not just thinking, you know, there I go, kicking that box again as I walk through this hallway once more.

But not just thinking you know who you are or trying to, trying to believe right? But knowing a real knowing of who you are and what you’re here to do, and having a sense of direction so that when shit gets hard or shit gets challenging, you are not questioning who you are, versus questioning, what do I need to learn about this? Or questioning or just paying attention to the circumstances.
We inherently, a lot of times when things are challenging or hard, we go right to, well, what is wrong with me? And I’m saying in my work here in helping people know who they are, trust who they are, trust in their purpose, trust in the plan of their life, even though you do not know how each step or each turn is going to affect you, but just being able to trust that is life changing.

This is the work that I do, but many people can’t get to the next step because they’re scared and they’re afraid because we do not like the unknown. That that’s natural to feel scared and, and, well, it’s, it’s very conditioned, I should say, to feel afraid of what is unknown. Right. And so my work in, in the life coaching field, you know, is really about helping people have that sense of knowingness and belief in themselves, and trust in themselves so that they can overcome and move through the fear of the unknown easier so that they can fulfill the purpose of their life, whatever that is, or the goals that they have for right now or the next year, whatever that looks like. I could not do that without me having the experience and me not standing true in who I know I am.

So anyway, the birthday stuff is still pouring in and I can see it on my phone. And you guys, I, if this turns out to be episode one, Of the relaunch of the Artist of Mastery podcast. Thank you so much for being here and sharing it with me and having your energy reflected back on this day. Obviously this is not published on March the 14th, but just being in the energy of this day with me. I would love to know what you thought about anything that I shared here in this episode. So please do reach out to me. I am active on both Facebook and Instagram at Sonja Thompkins. I’ll put the links to those in the show notes.

And if something I said today struck a nerve with you and you like to know more about yourself and start to build a connection and discover who you are so that you can feel more confident and trusting and believing in yourself, I am elated to do that. That is my jam. You can find out more about that at sonjathompkins.com/purpose. Once again www.sonjathompkins.com/purpose and that link will take you to my Happiness assessment tool. It’s a really cool, really quick, I wanna say it’s 10 minute and 13 second walkthrough to help you kind of assess and find out where you are feeling your most joy and abundance and happiness and where it might be hiding from you so that you can find it. That’s always step one. Awareness is always step one, you guys.

So thanks so much for being here. I’ll check you on the next episode in about two weeks.

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